The reality of what people mean by saying "they’re not worth it".

Recently at bible study the topic of forgiveness was discussed and it made me think about what people have been telling me my whole life especially in the last month. People have been telling me “they’re not worth it” or “he’s not worth your time thinking about, so move on”. Sometimes people hurt us. It might be a friend, a relative, or a significant other. Maybe you have said this to someone before or even thought it before.  

Whenever friends try to say the comforting words of “they’re not worth it” or “he’s not worth your time…” to me this stings for a couple of reasons. One is the reality of moving forward and showing them grace & forgiveness and two is they don’t know & understand how I feel right now. What I think that people really want to tell me but don’t want to come right out and say is that when people hurt you— you should just move on and stop thinking about the “what ifs” and the past because you can’t change it now.

But what I really want them to say is…I understand you’re hurting. People are imperfect and don’t always know what they want, occasionally people make mistakes, and other times people do what is best at that moment because they are uncertain. Don’t try to relive the past and dwell in the “what ifs”. Thank God for His love and pray for the one who hurt you and forgive them. Eventually the hurt will disappear when you forgive them. Whatever happened is in the past is the past. Your value and self worth are not based on that person. Your time should not be spent thinking about it. Spend your time forgiving him.

In reality aren’t people who hurt us worth our time thinking about? God is superior and in His timing everything will be made alright. So I am trying to remember that friend/relative/guy is worth loving…he is worth forgiving…he is worth praying for…and he is worth my time. Like I’ve said before, “You is kind, you is smart, you is important” and forgiveness is one of the steps to mending the rough spots along your road so you can begin moving forward with life and feel kind, smart and important again. For me forgiveness brings peace and "life is good" again. And yes, I'm there now hence the post.